SUICIDE RISK FOR ADOPTEES
Perhaps like the psychiatrist Paul Sunderland once did, you wonder why a particular acquaintance of yours keeps ‘banging on’ about being adopted. Perhaps you could then acquaint yourself with some of the evidence of adoptees troubles lives. The scar of separation and loss remains inside every adoptee. It may appear to be less for young babies separated at birth, but that is because it is buried deep in the subconscious, driving decisions and actions in life. Paul Sunderland says it is ‘remembered, but not recalled’.
Here is a link to another website, where you can get the latest evidence of many adoptees troubled minds. Adoptees attempt suicide at approximately four times the rate of teenage offpring. The website contains a pdf. file of the original article from Pediatrics -official journal of the American Acadamy of Pediatrics. It also has a more user-friendly summary of the findings.
ADDICTION AND ADOPTION – A TALK BY A PSYCHIATRIST
This is a link to a video by Paul Sunderland, Addiction and Adoption. He talks about commonalities he finds in therapy, and addresses issues of early brain development
SELF-RELIANCE AND FEAR OF CONNECTION TO OTHERS
Taja talks about her work with the common fear of adoptees to make connections to others. She identifies the adoptee pattern of self-reliance and isolation: ‘I’m fine, you can’t touch me, you can’t get in here, you can’t crack me. Link here.
About Taja Will
‘Getting to Listen’ by Martha Crawford.
This is an article by a therapist challenged by adoptees, and exploring the power imbalance in relationships, and asserting the adoptee as the experts in their own lives. Read it here
She also says:
Too often, the perceived losses of white adoptive parents are assumed to be comparable to the losses of transracial adoptees and birth families. Adoption agencies and professionals often explicitly underscore the “mutual” losses of the supposedly equal participants in the symmetric “triangle of adoption.” However, adoptive parents are, in fact, the empowered beneficiaries of adoption practice, policy and privilege. And our listening style must be cognizant of our institutional advantage.
Mutuality and trust between adult adoptees and adoptive parents sometimes happens. It’s sometimes forged. Nevertheless, it should never be assumed, and it must be earned over and over. Moreover, once it begins to take root, it still can be easily damaged, sometimes irreparably.